Fishtank temperature

If you want tropical fish to breed then you simply turn up the temperature in the tank by a couple of degrees.The male and female fish will produce little baby fish - mostly via egg some directly.

If however you only have male fish in your tank then some of these fish will become gay.

Duvet Days

In the England and Wales, civil servants get 7 "duvet-days" in addition to their annual leave entitlement.

In Scotland civil servants get 18 duvet-day.

Moustache

If you grow a moustache, providing you're not grey, the colour will be the same as you hair was when you were 6.

This is why you see a lot of people with ginger moustaches.

Cockroaches

Cockroaches can time travel as well as survive a nuclear war

Chilian Miners

When the access hold is completed they are sending in musicians first to keep the miners entertained until the 2nd access shaft has been completed.

Autralia

Until relatively recently Australia used to have left and right the other way round to England and America. This led to confusion for visitors and Australian travellers, which led to the law being changed to comply with England, who are credited with inventing the left-right system.

It wasn't until this law was changed that Australia and England decided to drive on the same side of the road.

Church

In the UK as many as 900 people go to church regularly.

Your own wee

If you drink your own wee then you wont wee it out again.

Ear-pets

In the 18th centuary it was fashionable to have an ear pet. Masonary bees were very popular.

Tennis

Strawberrys make you good at tennis.

Swans

Swan will be on the menu again as EU equality rules relax this age old ban.

Swan rights campaigners welcome the news, a spokesman said "...it's about time swans had the same rights as chickens"

Cheese

If you fart on cheese it matures more quickley

Tennis

To comply with European equlity laws tennis scoring is to be decimalised. Although not yet known it is rumoured that 15-30-40 is to be replaced by a log-base-10 system.

Lifts

To comply with EU health 'n safety, in department stores all lifts are required to stop at all floors whether they need to or not.

Teeth

When you clean your teeth they heat up by 9 degrees.

Election Day

Strangely most people fill in their polling card with their left hand. It is thought that this practice dates back to medevil times - the right hand being left free to use a sword.

Chocolate

Chocolate stains can be removed by simply rubbing with fresh insulin.

Tea

60% of cups of tea haven't been stirred properly. This results in a sweetness gradient which some traditionalists regard as unpalatable.

Tools

A staggering 80% of 14 year-olds have never used a chainsaw!!!!
And according to our survey 95% thought a chisel was a type of shoe.

Curry

The warm towels you get at the end of a curry are to ward off evil spirits that make you feel drunk. It is unknown as to whether this is true or not.

Bum crack

0.5% of people are born with their bum crack going ther wrong way. It is said that this is the reason that early man started to wear trousers.

Ear wax

The unique solvent properties of petrol make it perfect for removing ear-wax, just a few drops is all you need!

Home made camera

In the same way that a loud speeaker can be used as a microphone, a television can be used as a camera.

Gas

In the same way that filling a kettle with hot water makes electricity, if you pass hot water the wrong way through a boiler you can make gas.

Dizzy

If you eat whilst spinning round you wont feel dizzy.

Sei Whale

Sei Whale translates to Fish Fingers in Japanese

White Paint

It costs considerably more to make white paint due to white not being a real colour. In order to make it they have to mix all the other colours together.

Teleportation

Due to it's inert properties it's theoretically impossible to teleport gold.

The birth of the Internet

The first websites got developed as part of a bet between two computer scientists.

Mushrooms

Mushrooms contain enough spores to cross the whole of the Isle of Wight (when laid end to end).

Pancakes

The oil on the underside of pancakes aids their flight in the air due to the extra slippy'ness of the underside. It was this that gave the Wright's brothers the idea of flight.

The sea

In the deapest oceans the pressure is so great that the water near the seabed is solid.

Weather

Feb 29th 2010 was the coldest day on record.

London

In London you are never more than 5ft from a homosexual.

Percentage of Facts

23% of all facts end with a 3.

Good luck

In the same way that it is good luck to find a 4 leaf clover, in some countries it is good luck to witness a car crash, an event that you will not see many times in your life. Witnessing your own car crash however is not considered good luck though, for obvious reasons.

Yodaism

Yodaism is a speech impediment whereby the afflicted speaks like Yoda.

I've recently found out that some people actually want to speak like this!
http://www.yodaspeak.co.uk/index.php

...and it seems to be called Yodish.

Keyboard

If you press all the keys down on your PC keyboard at the same time you get a special character that no one has ever seen.

Baileys

It's impossible to drink more than a pint of Baileys.

Tea

Tea made with urine is colourless.

Eraser

You can't write on a pencil eraser with a pencil.

Cereal dust

The dust in the bottom of cereal packets is carcinogenic.

Bath plugs

Most peoples' bath plugs are attached to their bath by too much chain. If this surplus chain was removed and joined together then the chain would stretch over 3 times round the earth.

Headphones

Some people cannot wear in-ear headphones as this awakens a prehistoric fear that they have a newt crawling inside their ear.

Santa...

...can travel faster than the speed of light.

Wind

If you fart lying down it doesn't smell.

Christmas

90% of people hate Christmas. And a staggering 86% of people don't believe one can have a virgin birth.

20% of people aged 23 and over still believe in Santa, I was shocked that 80% don't and I'm 36.

Cold feet

It's impossible to go to sleep unless your feet are at the same temperature as your head.

Birth

A staggering 30% of most people can remember being born.

Accents

People who have regional accents can't mimic other regional accents.

Blood pressure

Removing blood from yourself can effectively lower your blood pressure. Obvious really!

Wet

If you put the hand of someone who is asleep in a bowl of water then they'll wet the bed.

Trying this on your young children is non-conclusive as they wet their beds anyway, but it can be just as much fun.

Spiders

The number of miles crawled accross your face when you are asleep by spiders is on average 0.75 per year!

Finger in drill

If you tighten your index finger in the chuck of a handheld drill and get someone else to hold the drill, after applying power to the drill eventually you'll do a somersault.

A Googolplex

...is a number and there aren't enough atoms in the universe to write down this number in full! Actually this might be true, so perhaps not a candidate fict.

One from my childhood...

If you chew chewing-gum for long enough, not only does it get its flavour back, but it changes colour too!

Dot-to-dots

If you joint the dots up in reverse order, you get a different picture.

If you only join the prime numbers up you always get a straight line, this is called Dot's law named after Dot, who discovered it.

If you join the dots in a random order then you get a random picture.